Tony Holohan Offers Online Critics One Good Swing At Him, If They Have The Fucking Balls

CHIEF Medical Officer Tony Holohan has penned an emotional open letter to his hordes of online detractors, assuring them that as a doctor, he knows ways to make them ‘sing in pain’ that they’ve never encountered before, WWN can report.

It was a busy week for Holohan on the open letter front, as he also published a note to those who have been fully vaccinated assuring them that they can trust in the protections afforded to them by their faith in vaccinations, as well as another letter to GameStop saying that he knows it is not their fault there’s no PS5s on the shelf.

“For anyone who wants a crack at the champ, you know where I’ll be every evening at 6” said Holohan in the 2-page letter to online trolls, in which he promises to ‘slap them naked and hide their clothes’.

“For over a year I’ve been making recommendations that you lot stay safe, but now I’m telling you to come at me with no mask on so I can see the dumbass look on your face change when I kick the R number out of you”.

Emboldened by the CMO’s ‘come at me’ attitude, Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly has also offered to fight anyone who thinks they have what it takes to take him on.

“You have to fight Tony Holohan first, then Ronan Glynn. That’s the rules,” said Donnelly, before ordering the HSE to have an A&E bed on standby for him in every hospital in Ireland, should anything go wrong.