Plucky Underdogs AC Milan Hoping Not To Concede Too Early Against Shamrock Rovers

UNFANCIED minnows hoping to avoid a hiding against Shamrock Rovers in their Europe League qualifiying round clash.

Plucky underdogs AC Milan, who live in the shadow of their Bergamo neighbours and Champions League semi-finalists Atalanta, will be hoping to avoid a serious drubbing at the hands of Jack Byrne and company with manager Stefan Pioli rumoured to be considering an experimental 11-man defence.

“It’s not everyday someone gets to play in an arena such as this, thank Christ,” offered Stefano Pioli of The Hoops’ 8,000 seat home ground of Tallaght Stadium, “we know what we’re in for – they’re going to have more chances than a wayward teen with 400 previous convictions standing before an Irish judge.”

Pioli hasn’t ruled out man marking Joey O’Brien with four of his players, but conceded that their hopes remain very slim and his team are ‘just happy to take part’.

The gulf in class between the sides is best highlighted by Milan’s reliance on a 38-year-old journey man up front, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, an MLS reject.

“If my trip on the Red Line is anything to go by, these fucking animals are going to tear us apart,” remarked Ibrahimovic, recalling his journey on a Tallaght bound Luas earlier today.

“I said ‘kneel before Zlatan’ and these 20 miniature humans all wearing tracksuits, you call them bags of scum? They told me ‘kneel before me hoop’,” added a shaken Zlatan, explaining his black eye and wedgie.

Kick-off is 7pm tomorrow, but it’s not worth watching as Rovers will have the tie sown up within the first 5 minutes.