We Interview The One Person Who Thinks The Metrolink Will Be Built By 2034 For €9.4bn

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A QUICK survey checking the temperature among Irish people on the ground to the news of the MetroLink build reveals a deeply cynical population without an ounce of goodwill, positivity or hope.

However, one survey respondent to buck the trend is Dublin man Eamon Ryan. WWN has reproduced his answers to the survey below in a bid to sow some much needed seeds of happiness and optimism ahead of the completion of the Metrolink in 2034.

Question: Do you think honestly think the Irish state is capable of constructing the Metrolink by 2034 and within budget, currently €9.4bn?

Eamon: Yes! To believe is to achieve! The first step toward a dream is to fall sleep and with the amount I do in the Dáil I’m 24/7 hallucinating trams to the airport!

Question: I have magic beans, for a small fee you too can have magic beans. Would you like to buy them from me for €9.4bn?

Eamon: Yes. I feel guilty that I’m taking your beans off you, €9.4bn seems a steal. Please take upwards of €23bn from me, it’s the least I can do.

Question: What will you do if the Metrolink isn’t built by 2034?

Eamon: Well, that’s just not possible. There’s no previous examples of such things happening that could serve as some sort of depressing train to the face.

Question: Suppose you believed Brian McFadden when he said he’d have a successful solo career?

Eamon: I still listen to ‘Real to Me’ on repeat! Tune!

Question: The firm building the Metrolink have just been on and asked if you could pop down to the shops for them. Just looking for spirit level bubbles?

Eamon: Oh great, I’ll jump on my bike now, anything to help get things up and running.

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