Not Watching Dancing With The Stars: Here’s How

HAD YOU settled down on the couch for the evening in the hopes of ‘accidentally’ stumbling upon RTÉ’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’ in a bid to provide yourself with 60 plus minutes of nonstop complaining and declaring you’ll never pay the licence fee again?

There is another way, a different path. It turns out, according to the latest in entertainment science, you don’t have to voluntarily subject yourself to unsatisfying and irritating television you knew well in advance you would hate.

Curious as to how you can avoid watching ‘Dancing With The Stars’? Here’s how:

Netflix

Most TV remotes even come with their own Netflix button on them these days, just press it and save yourself.

Other channels

No one is sure how many there are but rumours suggest non-RTÉ channels number in the low double digits. Unshackle yourself from the pain, help your eyes avert the horrors of the son/daughter/partner of a Z-list celebrity.

Filling the ‘never heard of them’ void.

You might delight in casting aspersions over DWTS contestants and their loose connection to very minor fame but did you know you can get this fix anywhere, anytime?

Switch off your TV and head for the nearest busy village, town, city or road. Simply stare at people and declare with a sense of superiority that you’ve ‘never heard of them?’, ‘am I meant to know them?’ and other iterations of these phrases.

No wait, what are you doing?

You’re watching it, but surely someone who has stated so vocally and on so many occasions how much you can’t stand any aspect of DWTS wouldn’t still watch it? Don’t turn up the volume just to drown us out, we see you; pretending to be devastated at having to be fed this visual vomit, but you need something to moan about like you need oxygen.