Donegal Appeals For Better Transport Network, We Think

DONEGAL continued to cement its reputation as a massive pain in the hole for the rest of the nation this week, with what translators are describing as ‘some sort of plea to not be cut off from the rest of the country’, WWN can report.

“It’s like the worst mix of culchie and nordie you could ever imagine, almost impossible to comprehend” said one linguistic expert drafted in by the government to help translate whatever Donegal was grousing about this time.

“I’ll put it to you like this; Pearse Doherty is the best-spoken Donegal person in the world, so that’ll give you some idea what we’re dealing with”.

“That’s what’s taking us so long with the whole Mica thing – we couldn’t work out what Mica was, we thought it was local slang for ham or something. Anyways, the only words we can pick up in this latest complaining session are ‘bus’ and ‘train’, which would suggest some sort of public transport issue. So maybe they’re trying to tell us we’re doing a good job? Hard to say at this stage”.

However, a quick dusting-down of a old folder marked ‘Donegal Problems’ revealed that this was unlikely to be the case, as decades of neglect to Donegal’s infrastructure, the total shutdown of its rail network and a paucity of public transport solutions were revealed on the yellowing documents within.

“Terribly sorry about that, we’ll get to work on a Luas track from Killybegs to Letterkenny right away” stated the Department of Transport, possibly sarcastically.