Head Of Church During Wide Scale Paedophilia Now A Saint


ROME found itself flooded with people who came to celebrate the canonisation of Pope John Paul II along with Pope John XXII this weekend.

The criteria for sainthood in the Catholic faith has varied over the years, but with the last 15 years, seeing a decline in the church’s standing the current Pontiff Pope Francis has confusingly chose to canonise someone who largely ignored the plight of children who were raped by priests.

“The bar is set very high for sainthood because despite all the abuse and that – John Paul II told people to pray a lot. In as many as 150 countries, he was well travelled. A real servant of God,” explained religious affairs expert John Paul O’Brien.

“Pope John Paul did a great deal for children and the world, if you remember he made sure lurid homosexuals weren’t ordained because you know they’re the same as paedophiles,” offered an aide to Pope Francis, “he was also ahead of his time on the whole ‘no, don’t use condoms – that’s a sin’ during the outbreak of the HIV virus in the 80s,” added the aide.

Closer to home many Irish people have fond memories of John Paul II as he spent a few days waving at people here in Ireland in 1979.

“I was in my 30s when he came over. It was great so I think it’s cool he is going to be a saint,” shared Dublin based Diarmuid Martin.

“In fairness like it was only like 5,000 priests who raped children, that’s not a lot really in the grand scheme of things,” offered life long attender of religious services Brian Youngs, “I wouldn’t exactly call the systematic shutting down of avenues of investigations as a cover up, would you? I mean he was only the leader of the entire church.”

800,000 moral and religious people enjoyed a service for the newly canonised saints in the Vatican despite criticism from survivors of sexual abuse network SNAP.

The condemnation was seen as pointless as SNAP only represented 18,000 people from 79 different nations who had all fallen victim to abuse from members of the clergy.