Fine Gael Unveil €3bn National Broadband Plan As Their Next Fuck Up


AFTER careful consideration the Fine Gael barely led government have announced the €3 billion National Broadband Plan will join Irish Water and the National Children’s Hospital in a long line of monumental fuck ups which cost the taxpayer dearly.

“Honestly, hats off to Fine Gael this could be their Sistine Chapel of fuck ups,” confirmed one broadband expert, who was still trying to work out why the taxpayer was funding the essential infrastructure which will then be owed outright by a private firm.

“It’s been delayed, the cost ballooned from €1 to €3 billion, the Department of Public Expenditure has warned it breaches the spending code and the government hasn’t revealed how much the winning and only bidder Granahan McCourt is contributing to the project, an impressive shit show, even by Fine Gael standards” added the expert.

The public’s access to relevant, important documentation on the bidding process has been delayed by Fine Gael but they have insisted everyone will be informed eventually.

“The tickets for the official tribunal or inquiry into the absolute mess we’re going to make of the NBP have not gone on sale yet, but we anticipate public pressure for an independent inquiry will reach a tipping point in 2025 when the rollout of broadband is delayed another 5 or 6 times and the cost has quadrupled,” confirmed a government spokesperson.

Elsewhere, the government said no one needs to worry about the possible involvement of a Denis O’Brien owned firm called Actavo, formerly known as Siteserv, as part of the winning bid.