Trump Suffering From Crippling Vietnam Flashbacks


DISPLAYING all the hallmarks of someone who has been through a horribly traumatic ordeal that will leave a lasting mark on their psyche, President Trump continues to suffer from debilitating Vietnam flashbacks.

The intense and viscerally vibrant recollections of his tour of presidential duty first came on once he had boarded Air Force One, after an abrupt end to his summit with Kim Jong Un and could, for the first time, properly catch up on Michael Cohen’s testimony to Congress.

“They had a McDonalds but when you went in the menu wasn’t really like the McDonalds we have in America. It was confusing and I got scared,” the Commander in Chief confirmed while rocking back and forth.

Remarking that it was full of the kind of people he would not rent out Trump properties to, the shivering President backed himself into a corner on Air Force One, cradling himself in a bid to find some comfort.

“The hotel didn’t have Fox News. The country sends you halfway across the world, and what’s the thanks I get? Not even decent TV, and when you return you’re villain, they shout and spit at you. Call you a democracy killer,” a teary-eyed Trump recalled.

Waking mid-flight from a fresh nightmare flashback, Trump’s incessant and troubling visions seem to hark back to the psychological terror of being trapped in Vietnam, representing his country but unable to tweet at a time when his former lawyer and fixer Cohen accused him of being ‘a racist’ and ‘a conman’, and in one instance went even further in his hurtful rhetoric when he said the President wasn’t as rich as he claimed to be.

“Make it stop,” Trump cried out, clearly suffering from PTSD (Prevented from Tweeting Stress Disorder).