England Name 23 Men To Blame For World Cup Failure

IN the aftermath of the conclusion of the Premier League race the football world focused its attention on the announcement of those responsible for England’s upcoming World Cup failure.

The occasion was not without its casualties as a number of high profile players got the unfortunate news that they would be on the plane to Rio.

“Relief, I suppose you could say,” shared lucky absentee Tom Cleverley, “for once it won’t be perceived as my fault. I sat there waiting for the phone not to ring and I was absolutely delighted when it didn’t.”

Others were not so lucky.

“These things happen in football, there’s is nothing you can do,” expressed a dejected Joe Hart, “as a kid you dream of not being made a scapegoat for understandable shortcomings, but look, the lads will bounce back hopefully in time for the start of the premiership”.

Many in the media had speculated Roy Hodgson, the England manager, would go with a young squad, but questions still remain about how the squad will be able to handle their inevitable failure.

Luke Shaw, the Southampton full back, was picked ahead of veteran Ashley Cole much to the disappointment of the 18-year-old Saints player.

“I turned my phone off, I was so nervous but then I got a knock at the door with someone from the FA sending their condolences,” admitted Shaw.

There is a small consolation for the squad in the shape of Liverpool forward Luis Suarez who will almost certainly be vilified and publicly flogged by the English media regardless of what part he plays in England’s campaign.