The Internet Has Gone Wild Over This ‘Sexy Far-Right Rioter’

AMIDST the rioting, looting and extreme violence sparked by far-right factions across the UK, one fascist has gone viral for his rugged good looks wowing the internet and beyond with his chiselled physic and bad boy demeanour.

Rodrick Smith from Lionsbottom Marsh in South Cumberland woke up yesterday morning to a barrage of texts after being snapped topless during a hard days rioting in Sunderland.

“Woke up with an awful stiff shoulder I did aye!” the 27-year-old full-time son-of-two said, recalling the moment he went viral, “spent the day sculling cans and hurling bricks through the windows of small hard-working businesses and calling for all the immigrants from the countries ours invaded to go home because they make me and my friends uncomfortable.

“Then me mate John called and said ‘hey Rod, yer all over the news ya numpty, like one of those sissy male models you’d see on telly – you’d wanna set them straight before people think yer one of them lot who likes it up the poop chute'”.

Fearing the worst, Smith spent the day frantically replying to newspaper journalists who were looking to know who the newly coined ‘sexy far-right rioter’ was and if he had a boyfriend or girlfriend as ‘the people demanded to know’.

“I haven’t had a girlfriend since Monique got that barring order against me in school, but I’m not one of those willie woofters lads, me,” Smith insisted, emphasising his heterosexual credentials by pointing out he spends most of his free time with other like-minded men who can’t seem to get sex without paying for it, “we were setting cars on fire so I said I’d take off me shirt me nan gave me for Christmas so it wouldn’t get burnt – it was just a practical thing, not one of those gay boy things to show-off or nothing”.

Locals racists were already sceptical of the northerner on account of the fact he had no tattoos with basic spelling errors. Smith said his life has been turned upside down after the image went viral, being even suspended from his local branch of Britain First.

“They said I’m not the look the group wants – but I’m still the same old racist, good-for-nothing, worthless piece of shit I’ve always been,” a distraught Smith concluded.

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