Teenager Skillfully Navigates Porn Site’s ‘Are You Over 18?’ Security

NEW legislation that may force porn websites to impose mandatory age checks has been welcomed by the underage porn-watching community, who are looking for a return to the ‘shouldn’t be looking at this’ thrills of earlier erotica consumption.

Speaking to one 17-year-old local expert, the proposed new rules may pose about as much of a hurdle as the old ‘You Must Be 18 Or Over To Enter This Site’ restriction, which required the simple click of a button to navigate around.

“They say you’ll need a passport or drivers licence or credit card to authenticate your age, which just adds an extra layer of kink to the whole thing,” said Brendan Connory, who in the past few years has progressed from being curious about porn to being flat-out addicted.

“Basically as long as I have a phone or a computer or some other way to connect to the internet, I’ll get porn, don’t you worry. I’m just relieved they’re doing something that’s so easy to sidestep. Now if they were to start running proper sex education classes in school that teach young people the difference between porn and real-life sexuality, that’d be something to worry about. As it is, I won’t have to un-learn any of the horrible things I’ve witnessed on a daily basis since I was 14. Good times!”.

Meanwhile, 87% of men have expressed disappointment after reading this article that clearly had ‘porn’ in the title but failed to mention anything sexy at all, deeming it to be ‘a pure waste of time that could have been spent masturbating’.