Strong Winds Expected As America Exhales


WEATHER warnings have been issued across America amid reports of tornadoes, typhoons and tropical storms that have emerged following the conclusion of the Derek Chauvin trial, which resulted in millions of people simultaneously breathing out a huge sigh of relief.

“When the guilty verdict on all three counts was read out, the exhalation was not just limited to Minnesota, it was nationwide,” said expert climatologist Dr Alan Keane, as gusts of up to 120mph ravaged urban and rural areas alike.

“The only similar US Police aggression-based weather phenomenon that I can remember that even comes close was the sudden spike in temperature when Chauvin murdered George Floyd in May of last year, when people saw the video of Chauvin kneeling on George’s neck until he died, resulting in the hottest day on record”.

Despite the jury taking just a matter of hours to convict Chauvin due to the wealth of 4K video evidence from countless cameras that recorded him slowly murdering George Floyd, Americans were still uncertain of what the outcome would be up until the words ‘guilty’ emerged from the judge’s lips, resulting in the record-breaking exhale.

“The fact that people really thought it was going to be another Rodney King result, or an OJ result, made the eventual exhalation so strong,” added Dr. Keane.

Meanwhile, Chauvin will spend his sentence as the only inmate in a prison that was specially built for US police officers who have been found guilty of murder.