Queen’s Pussy Under Armed Guard Ahead Of Trump Meeting

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AN UNPRECEDENTED security operation is underway in the UK as US president Donald Trump is set for an audience with the Queen as part of his official visit to the UK.

Elite snipers will train their sights on Trump, who stands accused of either sexual harassment or abuse by more than a dozen women, and the trained the SAS marksmen can fire at will if he displays any signs that he may move on Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth ‘like a bitch’.

“We can’t take any risks with Her Majesty even if the target has said that the Queen is a ‘6 out of 10 at best’,” explained one armed soldier tasked with forming part of a circle around the Queen.

The groper in chief’s itinerary includes a meeting with British PM Theresa May, a black tie dinner and not being brought to task on anything he has said or done since taking office, but the security forces maintain their biggest concern remains the ‘sanctity and safety of the Queen’s pussy’.

“He has previous when it comes to these things, and while the normal reaction from people seems to be laughing it off and letting him carry on doing whatever he wants. We can’t take that risk,” added the soldier who confirmed that the guns the security detail use had been modified to carry extra large bullets.

“There was real concern that his tiny hands would be hard to shoot if and when he made a lecherous advance for the Queen, this way, we can’t miss our target”.

The Queen’s schedule for the rest of the month has been cleared as to allow the monarch enough time to repeatedly wash all remnants of handshake contact off her hand.

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