Barber Only Knows One Kind Of Haircut Style

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A LOCAL men’s barber, with over 20 years experience, confesses to knowing only one style of haircut and panics daily at the thought of receiving an elaborate request for something other than the ‘short back and sides, but leave a fair bit on top there’ style.

Dermot Halley, of Halley’s Haircuts emporium, has been operating as a hair shortening technician since 1998 but in an exclusive interview with WWN admitted that no matter the request from customers they always leave with the one and only style of haircut he knows how to administer.

“I came up as a hairdresser at a time when no one expected anything from ya, I didn’t even have a pair of scissors back then, just a fairly blunt knife and no one ever complained,” explained Halley, who feels the pressure these days to learn a second type of haircut.

“The young fellas come in with all kind of very specific sounding requests but as a way around this I just cut it all a bit more slowly, to give the effect I’m some sort of specialist but it’s all that one simple style,” Halley added, the shame visible on his face.

Halley has been able to persist with his lack of barbering skills for so long thanks to the general awkwardness of Irish male interactions with many if not all of his customers too embarrassed to query whether or not the haircut they just received was actually what they wanted.

The 41-year-old barber has announced an intention to finally up-skill and expand what he can offer customers.

“I’ve learned how to do that one tribal tattoo so I’ve already got 60 bookings over the next week for that one, but if they ask for anything on the fly, it’ll just be the same tribal tattoo again I’m afraid only smaller or something,” explained Halley.

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