Blair Admits Chemical Weapons May Have Been In Syria, Not Iraq


“SEE! There was weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East! Just, ya know, a few hundred miles to the left of where we said they were. But still!”

Former British prime minister Tony Blair was in jubilant form this morning, after a chemical attack on the Syrian city of Aleppo left dozens of civilians dead.

The attack with chemical weapons (believed to be a chlorine gas bomb dropped from a Syrian helicopter on the rebel-held city) confirms intelligence reports from before the invasion of Iraq, which claimed Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.

Blair had been strongly criticised in the Chilcot report published earlier this year for bringing Britain into a war based on intelligence that was later found to be false, but today the former Labour leader said he felt “vindicated” that there had been chemical weapons in the Middle East, albeit in a different country and in the hands of a different tyrant than he had initially claimed.

“We were this close to being right,” said Blair, celebrating with a nice sugary cup of tea.

“And what do you know, there was indeed a leader of a Middle Eastern country with a shaky grip on democracy who was willing to launch a chemical attack on innocent people… just not Saddam Hussain, and just not with us as a target. Still, I feel I’m due an apology, so get right on that”.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world has agreed not to do anything too crazy about tackling the whole ‘chemical-weapons-being-dropped-on-women-and-children thing’ just yet, and have gone about their daily business as usual instead.