Man United Make Transfer Bid For Liverpool Fan’s Blind Optimism


THE January transfer window has finally come to life with the emergence of Manchester United’s ambitious bid to purchase a Liverpool fan’s blind optimism, WWN has learned.

Liverpool fans, famous the world over for their shortsighted ‘this is definitely our year’ mentality, is said to have attracted interest from high up in the Old Trafford hierarchy as they search for a way to raise their fans out of their quagmire of eternal pessimism.

A bid in the region of €85 million for Wirral resident Jake O’Donnell’s optimism has been rumoured with Louis Van Gaal willing to start the unceasing optimistic outlet against Southampton on Saturday after becoming impressed by how hopeful it kept O’Donnell despite a loss to a rubbish United team last week.

Ed Woodward, United’s executive vice-chairman, is believed to have been told by O’Donnell that he would sell his chirpy way of viewing the footballing world for as little as €8, but Woodward insisted on a big in excess of €80 million as it ‘looks more impressive’.

If the Manchester club secure the services of the blind optimism, United fans can expect to become used to ignoring outside opinion and honest appraisals of their team in favour of believing they’ll the league regardless of the reality that surrounds them.

There have been doubts over whether or not such ill-founded optimism could pass a medical due to the heartbreak associated with such an outlook.