StudentTimes: Why Women Don’t Deserve Your Fucking Respect

In our StudentTimes section it’s all about speaking to cool motherfuckers who skip lectures to binge drink cans and sleep around like legends.

Here’s just the latest in a long line of articles which tell it like it fucking is, no pulling punches as we fess up to what is really going on in student life aka the real world. Read on for our essential guide to why women don’t deserve your fucking respect you Jager bomb downing genius!

1 – could they just fucking not? Hey sweet cheeks, I’m not in the mood to hear about how you’re stressed about exam time, I was promised casual sex by the truckload by the LadBible on Instagram. And what’s with wearing those loose tracksuit bottoms and hoodies in the library, I need something to look at while I pretend to study!

2 – if that slut you have your eye on says no to a threesome she’s obviously a fucking bitch, and what sort of woman turns down a spit roast with you and some other guy who is helping you pressure her into it? No sort of woman is the answer! Doesn’t she fucking know how many hits that video you were planning on secretly making of it would get?

3 – you’re working a group presentation for a business module and this absolute killjoy is shitting on your idea to have the girls in the group dress up as Hooter girls, in fairness she has a boyfriend who probably isn’t rattling her right so that explains it. Still babes, no respect given, no respect gained.

4 – less of the teeth, yeah? I could have sworn I sent you on that list of how to give a proper blowjob, sharpen up or I’ll point you in the direction of the ’10 signs that proper hero is going to dump you for not spending all your spare time debasing yourself to satisfy his unrealistic sexual expectations’ list.

5 – yeah, we had a one night stand, but ringing me out of the blue 9 months later isn’t the best way to get my attention. You were down for anal after two hours of being persuaded. Not my type to be honest, no respect for yourself, so no respect from me!

6 – think it’s fair to say that if she ain’t putting out after the second trip to Nandos she’s only in it for the free chicken. If you’ve paid for it both times and she’s still got that custom built lock on her panties she’s a long away from Respectville, in fact – she’s being a bit sly.

Be sure to check out our previous article on how to use that Irish accent on your J1 to fuck as many gullible bitches as possible.