“We’ll Take Scotland Too, But Not Wales. Fuck Wales” – Taoiseach Enda Kenny

TAOISEACH Enda Kenny has for the first time opened the door to a future referendum on Irish unity with Northern Ireland and the possibility of taking on Scotland too, but not Wales, WWN can reveal today.

Speaking with his mouth, Kenny drew comparisons with the situation in Germany after the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1990.

“This is exactly like that time,” he said, “We’ll be like the Germans in a few years; financing a string of countries we don’t really care for while imposing our own ideas and financial structures on them to suit ourselves. Northern Ireland is ours for the taking. Scotland too, but not Wales. Fuck Wales. Those lads are muck savages”.

In a significant move, Mr Kenny warned the European Union to prepare for the prospect of Northern Ireland and Scotland seeking to join the Republic, naming the proposed unity The Irish Union.

“We’re open to talks with the Isle Of Man, Isle of Wight, The Falklands, Rory McIlroy, basically we’ll adopt whoever wants us,” added the Taoiseach “I just want to emphasize again that Wales is not wanted in the Irish Union. Besides, there’s not enough room for two ridiculous languages”.