Nude Pics Of Jennifer Lawrence Fail To Impress 11-Year-Old Porn Addict
A YOUNG pornography aficionado is said to be unimpressed by nude images of Jennifer Lawrence which appeared online last night following the theft of private images from the actresses cell phone.
Lawrence was among an exclusively female group of violated celebrities who had stolen images of themselves in various states of undress posted online last night, irritating Sean Brody, 11, who expected them to show more than just the actresses breasts and private parts.
Hailing from Drogheda, the 5th class pupil and hardcore pornography addict took to social media to express his disappointment about the soft-core nature of the pictures, as well as the lack of any post-production retouching.
In a series of angry tweets and Facebook updates, Brody dismissed the images as being “like porn for babies”.
“When I heard that there were nude pictures of Jennifer Lawrence online, I couldn’t get to my computer fast enough” said the young man, who currently has 195 hours of hardcore porn on his laptop.
“She doesn’t even have her legs open in any of them, there’s no images of her dildoing herself with a cucumber… and would it be asking too much for some guys to get involved? Three or four maybe?”
“Half these pictures show her in swimwear, she’s not even naked! I’ve got a movie on my phone showing a woman getting an octuple penetration, and it’s far sexier than Jennifer Lawrence kneeling over her bed. This is the kind of porn my Da had in the eighties”.
Brody’s disappointment at the tameness of the images was echoed by many of his schoolyard pals, who like their porn to be as degrading as possible. With primary school students now able to access pornography via smartphone 24 hours a day at an age before their mickeys are even getting hard, most have become desensitised to the extent that risque images of one of the world’s most beautiful women were met with a resounding ‘meh’.
“I mean, she looks kinda rough in most of these shots” said the 11-year-old, whose parents think he uses the computer in his room to do homework for six hours every night.
“When you see her in magazines and in movies she looks fit, but look at the state of her here. The women in porn usually have had a lot of plastic surgery, and images in magazines have been airbrushed and retouched until they’re barely recognizable. That’s what I’ve come to expect when I click on a link that promises naked women, not this amateur shit where she looks like she really does in real life”.