“I’m Talking To Iran Right Now” Says Trump As He Motions At Pete Hegseth To Do Iranian Accent On Other End Of Phone Call

AFTER PROUDLY alerting the media to the fact he claims to have started and is approaching a final ceasefire deal with Iran only for Iranian officials to contradict him, US president Donald Trump has roped his cabinet into helping him save face.

“They made a fools of me, they said ‘the US is negotiating with itself’ Pete, so quick run into the next room and you ring the Oval Office phone and I’ll pretend it’s Iran,” Trump said loudly to his Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, all within full earshot of assembled media standing just feet away.

Shortly after making his excuses by running out of the room complaining of chronic diarrhoea, Hegseth then rang the Oval Office phone, prompting Trump to state ‘oh, that must be Iran now begging for a ceasefire and offering me a big reward, like I previously told you they did only for them to call me on my bullshit’.

“Shut it Pete, of course it’ll work, you’re already slurring your words so it barely sounds like American anyway. Shout louder, the media are buying it, I can tell by the concerned looks on their faces, they know this is a big serious important call,” Trump snapped down the telephone line, again clearly audible to the attending press.

“Sir, you know I love nothing more than doing an exaggerated ethnic accent loudly in public but I’m not sure they’ll buy it,” a panicked Hegseth said from the hallway outside the Oval Office.

Concluding the phone call Trump declared an unparalleled victory in the history of armed combat by stating he is close to successfully begging Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, the closure of which was directly caused by Trump’s initial attack on Iran.

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