Met Éireann Warns Of Rare Thundersnow-Tornado-Blizzard-Hurricane Event

IN welcome news for news publications across the country, Ireland’s meteorological authority Met Éireann has issued a warning for a rare thundersnow-tornado-blizzard-hurricane event, sort of.

When asked if Ireland had even the slightest chance of experiencing thunder, snow, tornadoes, blizzards and a hurricane simultaneously, a Met Éireann source confirmed that, technically speaking, each phenomenon could occur under the right conditions, thereby creating an opportunity to combine them into one extremely rare weather event.

“No, please don’t print that,” the source pleaded, unaware of the engagement potential such a headline could generate online and clearly a newcomer to dealing with the tabloid press.

“Seriously, you’re just making things up now. Stop it,” the source continued, despite acknowledging that the chance of all five events occurring at once stood at approximately 0.000019 percent, odds we were more than willing to run with in the hope of remaining relevant to middle-aged users on increasingly dated social media platforms like Facebook.

“All your readers will do is read the headline anyway,” the source added. “If they actually manage to click into the article they’ll be immediately buried under pop-up ads, autoplay videos and cookie settings, before eventually giving up entirely and accepting the headline as fact.”

Not that we cared. These are desperate times.

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