“C’mon, A Bit Of Fresh Air Will Do You Good” Wife Says To Distraught Liverpool Fan Who Hasn’t Left His Bed Since Salah Outburst

LOCAL MAN and distraught Liverpool fan Shay O’Brien remained plunged into a permanent state of distress following Mo Salah’s public outburst in the aftermath of his side’s 3-3 draw with Leeds United, WWN can reveal.

“I offered to make him his favourite dinner, sent the kids to my parents for the night, danced around the room in the lingerie he bought me for Valentine’s Day that I refused to wear, nothing absolutely nothing can get him out of this funk,” bewildered wife Jane shared with WWN, as O’Brien remained staring into the middle distance with the bedroom curtains closed.

“He briefly spoke at around 11.35pm last night but I couldn’t understand me between the blubbering and snot bubbles coming from his nose,” added Jane, at a loss at what to do.

O’Brien is believed to be just one of 400,000 Liverpool fans who have called in sick today, explaining to their bosses ‘it should be obvious why I can’t come in, the world as we know it as ceased to be’, with no sing of the unfathomable crisis abating.

Elsewhere, other spouses to Liverpool fans have reported similarly disturbing listlessness.

“My fella is very impressionable, when Mo got the hair transplant he sold the car and got his done in Turkey, and now? Well he’s marching around the house saying everyone blames him for everything and he shouldn’t have to bring the bins out because of all he’s done for the house these last 8 seasons,” one fed up spouse shared.

Instead of launching a helpline for beleaguered supporters, Liverpool fans have been instructed to look at their trophy cabinet and stop feeling sorry for themselves.

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