“If Ill, Nothing To Do With Alaska Summit” Putin Hopes Trump Is In Best Of Health

“I”M just saying, if Mr. Trump has suddenly fallen ill, it’s nothing to do with any delayed poisoning administered to him in the back seat of The Beast when we met in Alaska two weeks ago… just coincidence if so,” Russian President Vladimir Putin told reporters during a state visit to China this week, responding to speculation that the US President may have taken a turn.

Reiterating his innocence, Putin added: “Seriously, don’t you think the US Secret Service would have patted me down – a former KGB agent with an illustrious history of such crimes – the second I got off that plane in Alaska? For syringes, weapons, anything suspicious? I’m sure the 79-year-old President will make a full recovery from this little illness. He’s a very fit man, who eats well.”

The Russian premier was later seen cosying up to Chinese President Xi Jinping in Beijing to mark the 80th anniversary of the end of World War II. He is expected to be joined tomorrow by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, with all three reportedly sitting together at the massive military parade, estimated to be far bigger and more impressive than Trump’s recent parade attempt.

Meanwhile, the navigation system of a plane carrying Ursula von der Leyen was disrupted this week in what EU officials suspect was Russian interference – another accusation Putin denied outright.

“If we wanted to eliminate such people, they would already be dead,” he reassured.

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