Government To Take Well Deserved Summer Break As House Builds Down 60% This Year

SICKENED A REPORT detailing how house commencements are down from 15,561 to 6,325 (60%) compared to the same 6-month period last year was released a day after everyone went on summer holidays, the Minister for Housing left a post-it note on his door stating ‘whatever it is, we’ll promise to act on it come next election. For now, we’re off for the summer hols’.

The figures, revealing a drop from 15,561 new builds to just 6,325 in the first six months of the year – the lowest since the COVID lockdowns – were quietly released a day after the Dáil clocked out for the summer, obviously due to bad timing, much like last year when housing figures where found to have been inflated once the election was over and in the bag.

“As usual, most of them didn’t even bother turning up for their last day yesterday, so the timing of this revelation was… unfortunate,” a janitor at the Department of Housing told WWN, standing at the deserted entrance.

“Shame, I’m sure they would have loved to be here to blame everyone else.”

In a double whammy of bureaucratic apathy, a second report also dropped, showing just 32 rental properties available for State housing supports across the entire country. That figure was filed neatly alongside the rapidly rising homeless numbers, now barreling toward 20,000.

“Maybe they’ll address that little issue before the Christmas holidays,” the janitor added, with a smirk, before collecting a stack of unopened letters from the public and calmly feeding them into the office recycling bin.

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