IKEA Opening In Waterford Delayed As Builders Lose Assembly Instructions

THE OPENING of a landmark ‘plan and order’ IKEA store in Tramore, Waterford has been delayed after a construction team tasked with assembling the building team lost the instructions for the shop.

“Has anyone got an allen key?” screamed one stressed out builder as a restless and expectant crowd gathered for a ribbon cutting ceremony marking the opening of the Swedish furniture giant’s latest Irish store.

“You’re after screwing the wall in the wrong way round. Okay then, why is one side shorter than the other? What do you mean the roof is the floor and the floor is the roof? I told you to keep the instructions,” barked the site foreman at one underling, as patience began to melt away amid intense bickering over the process.

Not wanting this unfortunate episode to descend into an embarrassment for his company IKEA CEO Jan Zimmerdahl, the hand-drawn cartoon figure seen on IKEA instruction manuals, tried to calm the crowd of would-be customers.

“I’m sure everything is fine, yes the instructions for the ceiling said 144 screws and the builders only counted 143 but it’ll be perfectly okay and steady,” offered Zimmerdahl, who asked customers not to lean on anything or place anything too heavy down on any surfaces.

Despite online PDFs of the instructions being available for the building, panicked workers at the site struggled to find the correct manual as they couldn’t locate the umlaut button on their phones to correctly spell ‘Shöp’.

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