Football Journalists Camp Outside Damien Duff’s House, Beg Him To Reconsider Resignation

DEEP in the throes of grief, Ireland’s football journalists remain camped outside the home of now former Shelbourne manager Damien Duff in the hopes of convincing him to reconsider his decision.

“He’s a once-in-a-generation rent a quote,” sobbed one scribe who will have to survive on the scraps of coverage generated by Bohemian’s launch of their 6th-choice limited edition away kit collaboration with Barry Keoghan and Colombia’s National Liberation Army.

“I’ll miss when he says ‘ah look it, I’m not bothered’ and then went on a 10 minute rant the most”.

Duff’s days as a league-winning Shelbourne manager were numbered after Damien Duff clashed with every atom within a six mile radius on a daily basis over four years, the sort of clashes football journalists feel they can’t let go from their lives.

“That’s it, the LOI golden age is over. Before Duff arrived, was this league renowned for any madcap nonsense and petty infighting? Of course not. How will we generate stories now?” added another journalist vowing to go on hunger strike until Duff reconsidered his choice.

UPDATE: The group of journalists scattered from Duff’s home after word spread of the release of the trailer for the new Saipan movie.

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