Israel Call Plagiarism After Iran Bombs Hospital, Civilians

LAWYERS representing the Israeli military have confirmed they are preparing to sue any nation guilty of ‘blatant copyright infringement’ of its war crimes, with particular focus on Iran, which has reportedly begun bombing hospitals and civilian infrastructure ‘without even so much as crediting us or giving it a creative twist’.

Missile strikes launched by Iran yesterday caused extensive damage across the region, including a direct hit on a southern Israeli hospital – an act Israeli officials have described as “shameless plagiarism.”

“What next?” read a statement from a Tel Aviv-based law firm representing Netanyahu’s government. “Targeting aid workers? Journalists? Using white phosphorus on civilians? Sniping children in the head from long distances? These are our war crimes. Come up with your own.”

The tit-for-tat conflict, now stretching into its second week, has seen both nations target with increasing regularity, non-military locations, prompting Israeli officials to ask without apparent irony ‘How could Iran be so cruel?’

“They even struck a residential building,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu declared at a press conference, visibly emotional. “Full of residents. Israeli residents. Real innocent people. What kind of sick monsters do that? Have they no idea these are God’s chosen people? He’s going to be absolutely livid.”

Meanwhile, dozens more Palestinians were shot dead in cold blood by IDF forces today while waiting for humanitarian aid however, according to a number of western governments this is fine.

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