“No One Told Me Planes Made Noise”: Meet The Person Who Submitted 7,535 Dublin Airport Noise Complaints In One Month

THE ANNUAL list of noise complaints sent to the Dublin Airport Authority included one individual who sent in an impressive 7,535 complaints in a single month.

Fascinated by the dedication such a high volume of complaints would take, WWN tracked down the individual for an exclusive interview.

“This is first I’ve heard of it, pun intended, planes making noise? I wouldn’t have bought over a direct flight path had I known,” confirmed local man John Carmichael, resident in a home directly under a flight path at nearby Dublin Airport.

“The ‘Mute Metal Birds’, that’s the nickname they have, right? Someone needs to answer for the conspiracy to try and keep the fact planes are very, very loud under wraps,” Carmichael added, speaking at the volume of a jet engine in order to be heard.

“Loud, isn’t it? I think you’re starting to see why I made an average of 10 complaints every hour over a one month period, my side business hosting a silent yoga retreat has taken a massive hit,” the 49-year-old added, his home life now dominated the sound of planes taking off and landing.

Separately, the DAA has asked the public to stop submitting other complaints they have deemed a ‘nuisance’.

“No matter how many times you email us telling us that Michael O’Leary is a dose stronger than a bite from a rabies infected hippo, we can’t do anything about it,” confirmed the DAA.

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