Man ‘Not Into Materialistic Things’ Sure Has A Lot Materialistic Shit Around House

LOCAL MAN Dylan O’Heir has a significant collection of ‘useless shit’ for a man who bemoans how everyone is held in the grips of rampant materialism, WWN has learned.

“A lemming if ever there was one, he’s always decked out in newest, trendiest runners and tracksuits, all ‘designer’ gear. People buy shit they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t like,” O’Heir said of his brother-in-law, despite his own home being littered with questionable purchases of useless tat accumulated as status symbols.

“Is that all people think there is to life? Buying the latest this ’n that because your ads on TikTok shove things from Temu in your face?” added the opinionated 25-year-old, who owns a €250 pair of ear phones, which he has replaced with a €500 pair despite his €39 ones working perfectly.

Explaining that it is ‘different’ when it comes to his own purchases, due to the fact he isn’t easily fooled by companies and knows the value of money, O’Heir defended his well-researched purchases which were hastily bought on a whim of dopamine-driven shopping.

“Anti-consumption is the way to go, we’ve been turned into mind-controlled drones, just doing what these companies tell us to do,” outlined O’Heir, owner of an expensive drone which resides in his shed gathering dust.

“We’re constantly being sold to, and people need to wake up to the fact they don’t need the massive steel water bottle, phone accessory or new beauty trend or treatment,” concluded O’Heir, somewhat undermined by the fact he owes 4 different copies of the same The Departed DVD.

Groundbreaking journalism comes at a cost and that cost is checking out our class collection of mugs, t-shirts and hoodies HERE