Reports Suggest Ferguson Pissing Steam Since Yesterday

THERE IS some concern in the Manchester area of England after reports of the regular occurrence of something previously thought to be beyond the capabilities of the human body, WWN Sports can confirm.

“I can’t quite understand it myself, but he’s been pissing pure unfiltered steam for nearly 24 hours. It’s hotter than a thousand hair dryers,” confirmed one Manchester United club official, describing a circumstance in which a Scottish man, Alex Ferguson, is, in place of urine, pissing pure steam.

“I can never make out what Scottish people are saying they could be cooing at a newborn or eating their favourite ice cream, but it all sounds like Francis Begbie making a threat on my life to me,” said another official, too scared to enter the men’s urinal where Ferguson is said to be emitting a constant stream of scalding hot steam.

Keen-eyed football fans have suggested the steam-piss conundrum could have resulted from the fact Liverpool FC secured a record equaling title of 20 league championships yesterday after a 5-1 win against Spurs.

“Not to sound arrogant about my intellect, but I bet Fergie looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp that was stung by a nettle which passed through the digestive system of a second bulldog has something to do with Liverpool being back on their perch,” confirmed one football fan.

Elsewhere, Manchester United fans have confirmed ‘old leagues’ have never seriously been counted by real football fans and that the real count stands at United’s 13 Premier League titles to Liverpool’s pathetic 2.

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