Dublin Players Sat Down & Told What A Defeat Is, Why They Can’t Turn Up To Leinster Final

AN EMERGENCY team of education professionals and GAA rules experts have been sent to administer information to the Dublin men’s senior football panel in the wake of their first loss in the Leinster championship for 15 years.

“We’re making sure to repeat ourselves and talking slowly so as to avoid confusion, some of the poor feckers were still talking about where to go in town to celebrate when they win the title on the 11th of May,” said one member of the care team, whose responsibility it was to explain the concept of Meath winning.

A terrific Meath performance saw the Royal County progress to a final against Louth but at the final whistle the Dublin players, owing to a force of habit, raised their arms in triumph, patted one another on the back and offered ‘hard luck, you’ll get us next time’ handshakes of commiseration to Meath players.

Despite using a variety of slide shows and visual props including sad face emojis, some in GAA circles fear an embarrassing situation of Dublin turning up for the Leinster final remains on the cards.

“Remember when you retired Stephen, and then you didn’t play, well this is sort of like this. Meath have ‘retired’ you all from playing in the final,” one of the emergency team explained to Stephen Cluxton to no avail.

Elsewhere, football purists have called for the new rules introduced to be scrapped after unpredictable results which entertain the neutral have been introduced to provincial football championships.

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