“I Didn’t Feel Pressure To Win Until I Heard John Tynan From Waterford Has Me €2 Each Way”

JUST AS THE MASTERS is set to tee off, Rory McIlroy’s inner circle spoke of how primed the golfer was to put previous high pressure fumbles behind him and grab himself a green jacket. That was until word reached McIlroy that Waterford man John Tynan has put €2 each way on him.

“No, no pressure, feeling confident in my game. Trying to win a major is all about remaining clear-eyed, calm, and unbothered but then it’s like, why bet each-way John? Does John not have confidence in me to win, John has to cover himself for the first 6 places?” McIlroy said to reporters who just asked him about the nice weather.

Maintaining an ice cool temperature as he makes his way through four challenging rounds, without giving thought to previous meltdowns, McIlroy has spoken about how ready he is to win another major.

“So John’s expectation is that I’m worth backing but his money isn’t safe if he only has me to win outright? He has to hedge his bets. Why does John think I’ll choke?” McIlroy added, clearly worked up by Tynan’s lack of faith.

Approached for comment, Tynan told WWN that the Holywood golfer ‘needs to get the finger out and stop bottling more than a Coca Cola factory’ as he sunk the last of his ‘pint money’ into McIlroy.

“No, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t go out and play, I fuck up then I fuck up John’s Sunday pint fund, and then maybe his mates in the pub call him McIlwrong for backing me and then they never talk to him again, his life is ruined and then…” McIlroy catastrophised, pacing the locker room at Augusta National, as his five exhausted sports psychologists quit on the spot.

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