Here’s What Irish People Are Putting In Their 72-Hour ‘Survival Kit’ Proposed By The EU

WITH GROWING uncertainty in a world on fire, the EU has told citizens of the 27-country strong bloc they should have a ‘survival kit’ which allows them to survive for 72 hours should a natural or man made disaster strike.

While our counterparts on the continent busy themselves sourcing first aid kits, medicine, generators, canned food and camping stoves, WWN has obtained a list of what Irish are putting in their kits:

A 3-day supply of bread which comes in at somewhere in the region of 38 slice pans.

Not opting for a generator or firewood, Irish people are instead spending big on a phone power bank capable of powering 72 hours of scrolling TikTok with zero breaks.

Cyanide tablets for when the last teabag has been used.

Second aid kits.

A cow for all your milk needs.

Ear plugs to drown out the sounds of doomsday preppers who say the EU asking people to be prepared for power loss in the event of a storm is a psy-op false flag.

Toilet paper to use as currency. Two or three sheets should be enough to buy a car in the apocalypse.

Analog pornography in a water proof pouch to be placed in the nearest bush.

One average sized gin glass which has the capacity to hold a year’s supply of gin. It is taken for granted every Irish person has a year’s supply of cans under the floor boards.

A copy of Ulysses. No it won’t finally be the time to sit down and read it, rather it is suitably heavy enough to be used to strike your neighbour, who has properly prepared with supplies for such events, in the head.

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