Now That Bullshit’s Over, Here’s Some Things Worth Wasting Your Energy On

HAVE you spent hours poring over comment sections, videos and articles about internet sensation Garron Noone’s upcoming trial in The Hague? Wasted eons watching every single ‘#IStandWithGarron’ video made by teary-eyed Irish influencers? Winced for a second or two at a Tate brother tweet?

If you’ve found yourself invigorated by a sense of injustice or righteous fury, research has shown while this is the biggest event to ever transpire in human history there are other, inferior things to get worked up about in Ireland, including:

The lack of special class places for children with additional needs. Not interested? Put another way ‘the haters (the Irish State) have cancelled Irish children’s right to an education’.

Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHs) is so lacking in resources the College of Psychiatrists of Ireland have said it’s not fit for purpose. Not interested? How about this? ‘There will be an increase in young people unaliving themselves, this sort of cancel culture is real and funded by the ineptitude of State run services’.

The Irish government has refused requests from the families of victims of the Real IRA bombing in Omagh, which killed 29 people and injured over 200 others, to establish an inquiry and the Irish State has thus far failed to cooperate with a British inquiry. Not interested? Try this on for size ‘#bekind to people still looking for and being the denied the truth 27 years later’.

Senior Gardaí are disguising the true number of Gardaí resigning from the force by asking them to list as a ‘career break’ despite the fact they will never be returning. Those guards would probably have come in handy when tackling, according to the most recent figures, an 11% increase in arson attacks. Not interested? Read another way – ‘they (accurate numbers of serving gardaí) are being silenced!’

There are 233 children with scoliosis on a waiting list for surgery – 15 of them for over two years. Eight years after then Min. for Health Simon Harris said no child would be waiting more than 4 months for surgery. Not getting much of a reaction? What if we said ‘the internet is divided’ over it?

We’ve been hacked by North Korea, made it into Trump’s campaign emails, threatened with legal action by Ireland’s richest man, angered Scientology and received 6,000 complaints from the God squad after a sketch of ours aired on RTÉ. Help us to keep pissing off all the right people – buy some of our MERCH HERE to help us continue to taking the piss in these trying times.