Fianna Fáil & Fine Gael’s ‘Red Lines’ For Going Into Government With Each Other

EXCRUCIATING flirting with all the prowess of a pig loose on a kitchen floor polished with baby oil has begun, as Micheál Martin and Simon Harris sit down to try and form a government.

What are the ‘red lines’? What are the demands? What do they agree on? WWN reveals all:

Simon Harris is insisting on a rotating Taoiseach arrangement, but is open to a slightly tilted Taoiseach, sick leave Taoiseach, Step-Taoiseach or a Bank Holiday Monday Taoiseach arrangement.

Micheál Martin is insisting Simon Harris can rotate his head out of the clouds and up his own hole.

Fine Gael have stated they want to be in charge of increasing homelessness this time, while Fianna Fáil would like to be in charge of pretending there is a functioning police force.

An intransigent Fianna Fáil will not budge on their desire for the next hefty subsidy for developers being delivered with cheese and wine hampers.

There is an agreement on delaying announcement on an agreement just so they can watch Sinn Féin embarrass themselves talking about forming a left-wing alliance alternative government for another week or two.

An end to ludicrous spending such as the Dáil bike shed, with the Greens out of the picture both parties feel they could get a €20mn five-space car park done in next five years.

The potential coalition partners have agreed they are as equally relieved as each other that on International Day of Persons with Disabilities they can avoid going into government with a smaller party demanding reforms and supports in the area.

Tentative agreement on who gets to set the Sinn Féin effigy on fire; all 86 TDs at the same time.

Simon Harris has already made contact with Liam Neeson to award him the contract for kidnapping Irish people and forcing them back home on planes from Australia.

Elsewhere, some independent TDs have already stated what their price for going into government would be with Danny Healy Rae providing this detailed drawing of a futuristic metropolis in Kerry to be built with the Apple Tax windfall money:

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