“First 100 Violations Of Ceasefire Are Free” US Tells Israel As IDF Continues To Strike Lebanon

DESPITE UNIFIL forces observing at least 100 instances of Israeli forces breaching the ceasefire agreement negotiated by the US administration between the IDF and Hezbollah, it has emerged that the deal had some hidden clauses applying solely to Israel.

“Well, as a valued and repeat customer for US arms, Israel actually signed up to our premium package which mean the first 100 violations of ceasefires are free,” spokesperson for the US Department of State, Matthew Miller, said.

Why Hezbollah did this remains unclear.

“Now, look, it’s not all rosy for the IDF when the next 100 violations occur that triggers a clause in our agreement together,” outlined Miller, revealing the hard line the Biden administration continues to take could see Israel sent more weapons as punishment.

Downplaying criticism of the breaches, Miller confirmed that people were misunderstanding the nature and purpose of ceasefires, which is wrongly associated with preventing death and destruction.

“It’s not to stop the killing, these things are announced so it looks like something is being done but as you know from all my briefings these past 14 months the only thing being done is whatever Benjamin Netanyahu wants to do without any fear of consequences,” outlined Miller.

Meanwhile, it is hoped fresh gains by Islamist rebels in Syria against Assad forces will calm everything down in the Middle East region.