Manager Still Doing Staff Rota In Foolscap

CAREFULLY removing it from a shelf labelled ‘don’t touch’ like a newly discovered Dead Sea Scroll, restaurant manager Teresa Kennan began her weekly rota ritual as staff busied themselves around her, knowing she’ll be sitting among them for the rest of the afternoon as she mapped the week ahead.

“Excuse me, but who scribbled ‘holiday for the 22nd’ into the rota? You must leave a red post-it on the holiday request board if you want time off. I’m going to have to deny that request now as it wasn’t to protocol,” Kennan barked, with the air of a World War I front line Major, licking her thumb to turn the soiled page before ripping it out and starting anew.

“There’s apps that can do rotas in .03 of a second, but no, old Ebenezer there insists on using a foolscap copy book, a Tippex stained ruler and multicolour Bic pen while spending a tenth of her working week drafting it up,” one member of staff pointed out to another, sick of the bullshit they have to go through to get days off, days they’re entitled to but feel are not worth requesting due to the fuss Kennan makes when asked. “Watch, same one will be forcing us to use up whatever holidays we’ve left in January, dictating our life”.

The archaic system, which was handed down to Kennan in 1983, somehow continues to the present day, lingering like a dose of measles in a hospital ward from the same era.

“We should buy her an oil lamp and a quill for Christmas,” another staff member suggested to a round of laughter from colleagues before being chastised with a stare from Kennan, prompting the manager to stick a ‘no holidays until Xmas’ post-it to the front of her precious fools cap front cover.

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