Fianna Fáil & Fine Gael Asked By Public To Stop Doing Weird Play Fighting In Public

AFTER taking to radio segments and TV shows to ‘neg’ one another in what seems like some sort of sordid and perverted attempt at flirting with one another, the Irish public has told Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael enough is enough.

“Whatever role play kink thing you have about each other being bad boys and naughty girls, could you do it behind closed doors – that’s fine, that’s your own business but nobody wants to see that shit in public,” voters of all types have said.

The comments were prompted by the now regular sight of the coalition partners, joined at the hip for five years, play fighting and trying to make people believe they are diametrically opposed to one another, polar opposites of immense ideological differences.

“This is worse than Anyone But You, don’t insult our intelligence we know you’re going to get together in the end,” insisted the public, who doesn’t want to witness another unbearable second of two arms of Frankenstein’s monster slapping one another.

Fine Gael has recently insisted, quite angrily, Fianna Fáil’s pledge to decriminalise drug use is a ridiculous pro-crime stance among other policy declarations, prompting eye-rolls from voters whose previous experience of screaming ‘just kiss already’ at long drawn out 10-episode Netflix romantic series means they know how this ends up.

“C’mon, ‘oh drugs are bad’, ‘don’t blame the addict’ blah blah blah, can we skip to the part were you completely ignore drug reform regulation while in government together again,” a tired electorate expressed.

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