“We Got BAM To Build It” Bike Shelter Cost Explained

THE Office of Public Works has broken its silence and explained the €335k cost of a bike shelter in Leinster House was down to choosing Children’s Hospital contractor, BAM.

Originally budgeted at €30k, the OPW revealed that construction company ran into a range of unforeseen issues during construction, including the sourcing of diamond bike racks, central heating and state of the art lasers which evaporated falling raindrops keeping the bikes dry.

“We started well in fairness, but then BAM kept suggesting really cool things to add to the shelter and before we knew it, bam, all our money was gone!” a statement from the OPW read.

The shelter, used mainly by Green Party leader Eamon Ryan who likes to cycle to work after being dropped by his ministerial car down the road a bit from Leinster House, has been slammed for its cost, coming in at nearly one sixth the price of the Dáil printer, or a year’s salary for a senior HSE manager working 20 hours per week.

“Oh, ‘tis awful bad now, terrible waste of money,” voiced Taoiseach Simon Harris, making his big serious stern face, “we’ll definitely get to the bottom of this until you all forget about it in a few hours before the next expenditure scandal emerges”.