Twitter Users Return To Facebook With Tail Between Legs

‘WELL, well, well!’ stated Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg today, as Twitter refugees arrived back to his social media platform by the thousand amid chaos over on Elon Musk’s flailing app.

“Would you look who it is, the same people who said Facebook was ‘too boring’, ‘too full of Minions memes’, ‘too much of a platform for hate speech and right-wing extremism’. Well it doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?” cackled Zuckerberg, as account after account reactivated for the first time in years.

The influx of Twitter users was triggered by a fortnight of turmoil on Twitter following Musk’s acquisition of the social media platform, which has been transformed from a chaotic miasma of hatred and lies into a chaotic miasma of hatred and lies that you can pay 8 dollars for.

However, Musk is adamant that the plunge in value of both Twitter and Tesla will have little to no effect on the decisions he makes from one end of the day to the next, adding that any ‘traitor’ that wants to flee to Facebook is welcome to.

“I’ll still have a bafflingly large audience of people who for some reason hang on every word I say and threaten anyone who suggests I’m not one of the greatest minds in human history,” he laughed, as the digital repo men pulled up outside.