Why Is The Internet Not Discussing Beyoncé’s Pregnancy?

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TWINS.

WWN’s Viral Team have been doing some digging and are disturbed to discover an apparent internet-wide blackout on coverage of the news that Beyoncé is pregnant with twins.

TWO BABIES.

We pride ourselves on breaking the big news stories in the world, however, we are appalled by the very real possibility that readers are only now learning of the historic story of Beyoncé announcing she is carrying the first ever known case of twins.

Queen Bey took to Insta, to drop a pic of her bump which is now a dope ass crib for two. She was all kinds of radiant! Beyoncé! Bey! Pregnant with twins! And people were just going about their business like this wasn’t happening.

DOS BAMBINOS.

Usually reliant Twitter users failed Beyoncé with their ability to ‘cope’ and ‘even’ despite the news, with many choosing instead to discuss pointless goings on around the world.

An initial scan of sites showed WWN was the only publication cashing in on the news using a thinly veiled appropriation of slang and shorthand. Where were the usual offenders with a solely white writing staff, that could be relied on to write PREACH in all caps, when they were needed most?

MOTHERFUCKING TWINS.

The Mail Online had 31 separate stories about Bey’s pregnancy and yet the question remains; why weren’t they covering Beyoncé’s pregnancy news? Why was it in their interest to deny a woman, a famous woman, a famous African American woman, the appropriate coverage? Worryingly, it is believed there are still close to 5 members of a remote Amazonian tribe who have yet to post a status congratulating Beyoncé, and yet, where is the outrage? The punishment for this slight.

But then it occurred to WWN Viral that Beyoncé was the victim of a conspiracy, a shadowy network of deniers who sought to suppress the news she was carrying twins. Everywhere we looked on FB, Twitter, Insta, Snap, Whatsapp, the Tramore community centre notice board. And nobody was giving Mrs Carter her due.

DOUBLE THE QUANTITY OF ONE BABY.

Buzzfeed’s usual parade of gifs and emojis were nowhere to found, ignoring the superstar’s news in favour of devoting just 6 pages of endlessly relatable asides from Bey devotees. This denial of the news is worse than any Holocaust denials we have seen issued in the past.

Even outlets we could rely on, such as the Guardian failed to come up with any opinion pieces positing that the former Destiny Child singer’s twins would be our only hope in the fight against Donald Trump. Why?

Disturbingly this vacuum of news has real implications for readers here in Ireland as well as Irish sites which rely on leading publications for their copy and paste needs. Everyone is dropping the ball on this one and shirking their responsibilities.

ONE BABY + ONE BABY = BEYONCÉ IS HAVING TWINS FOR ALL OF YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS.

Calls and appeals made by WWN Viral to over 200 world leaders went unanswered, further calling into question just what is to be gained by keeping this news from the public. We will not rest until we know the real reasons why the internet remains silent on Beyoncé’s pregnancy.

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