Politicians Liking This ‘No Government, No One To Blame’ Thing


POLITICIANS at Leinster House have today confirmed that this whole no government, no one to blame thing, has a lot more advantages than disadvantages, and don’t expect to vote on a new Taoiseach any time soon.

Speaking outside Dáil Eireann today, party leaders insisted that choosing a new government could take anywhere between 6-18 months, stating that rushing into things could do more harm than good.

“Seriously, it’s fine the way it is,” Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin told WWN. “In fact, the whole thing seems to be running like clockwork without all the pointing fingers at each other thing. No one is arguing, no one is blaming anyone for not doing their job. Dare I say it, this is a political paradise”.

Since failing to elect a new government last month, dozens of serious issues have since been attended to, including the housing crisis, the suicide epidemic, with even gangland crime down a staggering 400% since this day last month.

“We might even get around to sorting out those Magdalene girls, and that Waterford Crystal crowd below,” acting Taoiseach, Enda Kenny explained. “I’ve found my lack of interest in the job since officially resigning my position has done me wonders, mentally. I’m solving problems like there’s no tomorrow and just feel generally at ease in the Dáil,” adding “anything goes wrong at all, we just say ‘no government’, and no one gets blamed”.

Following unsuccessful coalition talks, another election is expected to be called in the next month or ten, whenever something big happens and they need someone to blame.