No Fowl Play As Offaly Gardai Believe 22 Dead Ducks Was Suicide Pact



GARDAI IN county Offaly believe there was no fowl play in today’s discovery of twenty two dead ducks earlier, stating it may have been some kind of sick religious bingo suicide pact.

The birds, who usually hang out in the harbour in Edenderry, disappeared yesterday evening.

“Due to the nature of their deaths and the connection between the well known bingo number twenty two and the term ‘two little ducks’, we can safely assume it was a joint suicide pact by the flock.” said Garda Terrence Coffee. “It was probably a protest against bingo of some kind.”

Ducks are believed to be totally against gambling and resent the fact their breed is used to describe the bingo number 22.

This is the first known duck suicide pact of its kind in Ireland, leaving many duck breeders fearing that copy-cat sects will follow suit.

“We will just have to keep an eye on the ducks.” said Jimmy Hackett, head duck-washer at a duck breeding farm in Waterford. “All we can do is wait and hope that this is the last of the duck uprising.”

Gardai in Offaly are asking the general public to keep their eyes peeled for any suspicious duck activity in the coming weeks.

Flocks containing 22 little ducks should be reported immediately.