Queen: “I Hope It’s Not Another Ginger”

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QUEEN ELIZABETH II said today that she hoped the royal baby would not turn out ginger, like its embarrassing uncle Harry, in what has been called one of her outspoken comments to date.

The Head of the Commonwealth made the statement in reply to a question from a reporter while on a series of engagements in the Lake District.

“All this family needs is another little ginger tosser lurking around the palace causing mischief.” said the Queen. “Unfortunately, it’s not like the good old days where we could just dunk it in a bucket of water and try again.”

The monarch added that she was getting sick of everyone ‘dragging the absolute arse’ out of  the pregnancy, and urged Kate Middleton to hurry on and ‘squeeze it out’.

Sources have said the Royal Baby is due any time soon in the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s Hospital, where hundreds of journalists and photographers are gathered outside, hoping to catch the first glimpse of the newborn child.

Along with the press, thousands of ‘baby watchers’ have set up camp outside, and are expected to just stare blankly for several days at the hospital, while singing very British songs of praise.

A Royal spokesperson for family has asked revellers to donate their money to the Royal baby fund instead of sending gifts and flowers.

It is estimated the baby will cost the UK taxpayer over £2bn by the time it turns 18 in 2031.

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