THE IRISH nation is beside itself with worry and fear as the full scale of the damage Climate Change can cause has truly set in for the first time.
‘Leaving Cert weather’, an annual two weeks of guaranteed blistering sunshine have been devastated by rainfall and generally shitty weather conditions prompting many climate change deniers to change their tune and call on the government to do something to combat the existential threat to humankind.
“I didn’t mind so much when biodiversity was being wiped out, but Leaving Cert weather? This shit is serious,” confirmed one local man who had plans for a barbecue or three over the coming days.
Communities throughout Ireland have reported of people screaming in the streets while the government’s Climate Action website has crashed after receiving over 40 million hits this morning. Its previous record was 11 visits over the past decade.
“Huge carbon taxes, we’ll all go vegan fuck the beef farmers and solar panels glued to every newborn, whatever it takes the government needs to act now,” added one local mother who was so shocked by the weather this morning that she forgot to drive her daughter to her leaving cert exam.
It is not just in Ireland where the impact of the dreadful Leaving Cert weather has registered an impact.
“Leaving Cert weather was the one constant in human existence. Forget the Great Barrier Reef dying or flash floods and typhoons in American and Africa, the absolute cat weather in Ireland shows us once and for all we must act now,” confirmed climate scientist Dr. Astrid Håkansdotter.