IN A BID to generate much needed viral video content, RTÉ News has strapped a Go Pro camera to Teresa Mannion before firing her into the eye of storm Ophelia.
Mannion, the much beloved star of the ‘treacherous’ news report, was dressed in 18 Northface jackets before being launched from a trampoline on the Kerry coastline at 9am this morning into the oncoming storm.
“Safety of RTÉ news viral hits is paramount and so we’ve entrusted Teresa with the task,” explained head of RTÉ’s Accidentally Popular Segments department Brian Gilcuddy.
TV stations throughout the world now rely heavily on income derived from views on videos of their staff reporting from extreme weather events as well as animal segments during which their reporters are bitten or defecated on.
“Every precaution has been taken, Teresa will have several back up Go Pros on her person at all times, and she was given a megaphone to ensure the microphone picks up whatever panicked nonsense flows from her mouth,” Gilcuddy added, “will it be any less gas craic if Teresa never comes back? Only time will tell, but just think of the memes!”
The RTÉ producer also reassured people that if Mannion is swept out to sea or split in half by violent winds, the footage will still be intact as it is being uploaded live via satellite.
Elsewhere, a one-week old Irish baby named Ophelia is reportedly never going to hear the fucking end of this.
Met Éireann’s final weather update before its staff and building were blown away maintained that despite rumours from your elderly aunt, no, Ophelia isn’t God finally getting around to punishing Ireland for voting yes in the Marriage Referendum.