US Healthcare, Education, Groceries, Rent All Affordable Now After Trump Renames Lake

DAMNED BE THE DOUBTERS, many had called it a routine distraction the likes of which have long been part of the daily output from The White House but President Donald Trump has silenced them all as the cost of living squeeze in America disappeared over night following the renaming of a lake.

“I didn’t believe it at first, I really hated the guy before this but it’s true,” confirmed one doctor’s patient, who was longer bankrupted by healthcare bills owing to a routine procedure.

Described by observers as ‘the craziest thing’, an instantaneous reversal of inequality and lack of affordability was sparked the second Trump declared he had the ability to change Lake Ontario to ‘Lake America’, with prices on shelves evaporating from pricing labels only to be replaced by much more affordable price points.

“Wow, rents back down to levels not seen since the 90s, I don’t know how renaming a lake did this but boy am I glad Donald’s out fighting the good fight for us normal people,”

If this trend continues, renaming more lakes that no one asked to be renamed could see the leading cause of child deaths no longer be gun related, 17% of US children who live in poverty lifted out of it, a reversal of the fact 1 in 5 people in the US are functionally illiterate and result in the US finally breaking into the top 50 for press freedom.

“We don’t have enough lakes to rename to reverse all that’s wrong with America, we need to create new lakes,” one expert confirmed. However, most people are rejoicing at this masterful gambit played the president.

“Lake America all the way! It’s crazy but it’s true, it worked for me, I’ve increased by wealth by billions,” confirmed Donald Trump, echoing the positive response from everyone.