Russia Could Invade Your Fridge Within 48 Hours

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A NATO general has warned today that Russia could invade your fridge within 48 hours, stating that the majority of European homes currently have no real defence plan to repel the invasion.

Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg, former Prime Minister of Norway, claimed Russia could empty your fridge of food and cold beverages in the ‘blink of an eye’, leaving your entire family starving to death in the kitchen.

“The Russians would probably start on the essential food produce like milk, butter and eggs first, before cracking into the items in the freezer,” claimed Stoltenberg, “Imagine waking up to find no milk for tea? Your whole day would be ruined. That’s Russia for you; they don’t care about your tea. They will invade your fridge and leave you with nothing”.

The NATO chief warned that the failure of countries such as France, Germany and Italy to take the threat of Russian aggression seriously could lead to a future loss of breakfast, lunch and dinner in millions of homes.

Speaking to several fridge owners on the street today, WWN asked whether families are prepared for an imminent Russian fridge invasion, and what they would do if such a terrible thing happened here.

“I’d probably go to the shop and buy more food,” said one frightened woman we spoke to, who will probably purchase some kind of fridge locking mechanism later today, “I could think of worse things to happen, if I’m honest. It’s just a fridge, like”.

Along with today’s fridge warning, NATO has also asked Eastern European countries to check under their beds every night for Russian invaders, and if there is any suspicious activity to contact one of the many local US military bases in the area.

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