Nations Hatred of U2 Evident By 6 Sold-Out Concerts

THE widespread Irish animosity towards aging rock megaband U2 was evident for all to see this morning as the hitmaking four piece sold out 6 arena shows in record time.

Nationwide anger towards Bono and his band was apparent from early this morning, as tens of thousands of people who normally spend their time claiming to hate U2 stood anxiously by their laptops waiting for tickets for the “Innocence and Experience” tour dates to go on sale.

Tickets for four November shows in Dublin’s Three Arena as well as two dates in Belfast’s SSE arena sold out within minutes of going on sale, proof of the nations opinion that U2 are shite and Bono is only a prick.

“They’re a fuckin’ pack of tax dodging bastards and they haven’t had a good album out in over a decade, and I’m delighted to say I got tickets this morning” said one man, who paid €370 for a pair of front area tickets. “Bono’s a sanctimonious arsehole who can go fuck himself, and they can stick that last album they gave away for free up their holes. I can’t wait, it’s going to be an awesome night”.

As thousands of U2 haters rejoice at the chance of being able to attend a gig by a band they supposedly hate, thousands more were left frustrated at Ticketmaster’s online service, which crashed several times and denied many U2 haters the opportunity to see them play live.