THE latest twist in the seemingly unending tale of the great Garth Brooks concert debate has finally seen the intervention of the UN.
UN General Secretary Ban Ki Moon has stepped in as civil unrest rarely seen in this part of the world has forced the UN’s hand.
Crowds gathered nearby Croke Park this weekend to protest the staging of the concerts, while elsewhere another crowd gathered to protest the non-staging of the concerts.
“It’s chaos Ban Ki,” Enda Kenny wrote to Ban Ki Moon in correspondence obtained by WWN, “total and utter chaos, we never had protests on this scale over the bank bailout, paedophile priests, dead babies or the gutting of mental health services,” the correspondence continued.
Moon must have been moved by the Taoiseach’s pleading as he has sent a peacekeeping mission to Croke Park in an effort to deal with the situation as it continues to spiral out of control. The peacekeeping mission is made up of a 1,000-strong entourage which had previously been stationed in Syria, but has been withdrawn to focus on this far more serious development.
“Oh Ban Ki, I’m very worried we’ll have to cancel our summer holidays over this one. Liveline – it’s basically a radio show where lonely idiots shout down a phone – they received 4 million phone calls about this in 4 minutes. They want me to enact emergency legislation over a few shite songs,” the Taoiseach’s correspondence continued.
Debate about the concerts continue online as 14 in every 10 Irish social media users are discussing the situation this very moment. The media have been a credit to the nation as it diligently knocked on every door surrounding Croke Park demanding a comment at gunpoint.
A number of ticket holders for the concert have been admitted to A&E recently with cases of mild ‘upset’ and fierce ‘fright’.
The outrage is reminiscent of last year when a license for an outdoor gig, which would see some two hundred people attend a Saw Doctors concert was rejected, prompting every prominent politician to call for a number of laws to be broken in order to protect the money and the shifts lost by the 3 bar men at the local Ballyfrack GAA club.